My life is crazy busy. Not just a little bit, either! I feel so pulled in many directions. I used to be home. Part of me regrets the decision ever to go back to school. Am I cheating my kids? Are they going to fall prey to the horrible neglect of the public school system? Will they be failures? What will happen if..if...if....
I didn't really have a choice. It was chosen for me. Some days, when I feel so busy I can't even breathe, I want my old life back. I want to wake up and make a real breakfast and actually listen to what my kids have coming out of their mouths. Then start on doing laundry or the myriad of other chores that seem to be piling up endlessly. Open up the books and teach my kids, introducing them to new and fascinating ideas. I'm blessed, I truly am. I know that. Just remind me, please. When I feel like I am cheating my family or cutting short a possible deep conversation with my teenager because I have homework to do. When I am sick and tired of doing the long drive into town to listen to a professor spout off inconsistencies left and right. When I miss my youngest's first game because I have another responsibility. I never missed that stuff with my other kids. I was always there. They knew where I was at all times. There was never a guess to where I could be. If there was a scraped knee or hurt feelings, I was there. No running to someone else or fixing it themselves. Just remind me....
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sparkle like a Dinosaur's Nest
It is spring cleaning time again! We have that yearly ritual of packing up the jeans and sweatshirts but we add dejunking of the bedroom. Children accumulate junk at an astounding rate. It must breed in the dark outer corners of the tiny white and pink bedroom. So, I patiently waited until my 6yr old drama princess was off to school before throwing open the door, garbage bags in hand.
Her younger sister was tagging along behind me. She was curious why I was headed into their room with so many unusual items. As I survey the serious task ahead, she begins to pick up the different items and ask why these are in her room. I explain to her that we must clean up our room super good! Not just a normal daily clean up but a deep clean. She stares at me, skeptical.
"Okay" she says, nodding her sweet little head. "I will help you!"
I was surprised. This from a child who really hates to clean up. She is the youngest of four children and doesn't really have to do too many chores. So we got to it.
I began to notice it was only my 6yr old drama princess's toys that were heading into the garbage and giveaway sacks. I turned to the youngest to ask why she was only discarding her sister's belongings.
"Mom, I have to get rid of this stuff. I NEED to make my room sparkle like a dinosaur's nest!" she stated emphatically, arms crossed.
It took all my willpower to not bust up laughing. Really? A dinosaur's nest? Do they really sparkle? I had no idea. I thought they were always dirty, earthy, you know-outside!
She went on about her business making her room sparkle like a dinosaur's nest the next hour.
At the end of the deep clean, we chatted over some whole wheat PB&Js, satisfied with a job well done!
It made me wonder, her every imaginary play and painted picture is of dinosaurs. She lives and breathes dinosaurs. She can tell you any dinosaur and what they eat. She can even act it out for you in case her description leaves you wondering. She knows where their nests are and sparkle is something her 6yr old sister does, not her.
So, if she can take her most precious thing and find "sparkle" in it, why can't I? Even when I know it may be super dirty or super ugly, do I take the time to make it sparkle? Or do I slump over, dejected and begrudgingly carry out the task far below the "sparkle" level?
Let's clean up some stuff until it sparkles like a dinosaur's nest! Come on, a 4yr old can do it!
Her younger sister was tagging along behind me. She was curious why I was headed into their room with so many unusual items. As I survey the serious task ahead, she begins to pick up the different items and ask why these are in her room. I explain to her that we must clean up our room super good! Not just a normal daily clean up but a deep clean. She stares at me, skeptical.
"Okay" she says, nodding her sweet little head. "I will help you!"
I was surprised. This from a child who really hates to clean up. She is the youngest of four children and doesn't really have to do too many chores. So we got to it.
I began to notice it was only my 6yr old drama princess's toys that were heading into the garbage and giveaway sacks. I turned to the youngest to ask why she was only discarding her sister's belongings.
"Mom, I have to get rid of this stuff. I NEED to make my room sparkle like a dinosaur's nest!" she stated emphatically, arms crossed.
It took all my willpower to not bust up laughing. Really? A dinosaur's nest? Do they really sparkle? I had no idea. I thought they were always dirty, earthy, you know-outside!
She went on about her business making her room sparkle like a dinosaur's nest the next hour.
At the end of the deep clean, we chatted over some whole wheat PB&Js, satisfied with a job well done!
It made me wonder, her every imaginary play and painted picture is of dinosaurs. She lives and breathes dinosaurs. She can tell you any dinosaur and what they eat. She can even act it out for you in case her description leaves you wondering. She knows where their nests are and sparkle is something her 6yr old sister does, not her.
So, if she can take her most precious thing and find "sparkle" in it, why can't I? Even when I know it may be super dirty or super ugly, do I take the time to make it sparkle? Or do I slump over, dejected and begrudgingly carry out the task far below the "sparkle" level?
Let's clean up some stuff until it sparkles like a dinosaur's nest! Come on, a 4yr old can do it!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Children and ministry...
Is there really a ministry to children? OR is it really something else? Do we shoe horn the "ministry" label into something that should be natural and flowing? Do we overthink the concepts or undervalue? So many questions. If we don't do it right, we screw up our kids, forever! Right?
Well, maybe not. I can clearly think of several fairly normal 19-22 year olds who turned out pretty good despite the crazy, abnormal even abusive life they led. They did not have a relationship with Jesus until they were much older, 14-16. Not the norm. Most people accept Christ as kids under age 10. After that, the odds are against it. These kids are phenomenal. They are dependable, flexible, and excited! I use them as counselors and everything else intern types. My job is more complete with them. So why do I use kids, mere high schoolers, who have only known Jesus for a few years? I use them because its genuine, real Faith. They aren't screwed up or unmotivated disciples for Christ. They are the opposite.
So what happened to my kids who have been raised in the church? Where are they? Why don't they step up to help out? I am dismayed at the level of laziness.
Maybe, just maybe we approach it all wrong. Do we throw dice at odds hoping for the abnormal? Or do we plan like mad and hope for the best? A very precarious balance. One toe over, just a smidge could result in lackadaisical faith or irreverent atheism. Or maybe it defines who they will be. Maybe it is not us. Overthinking it? Undervaluing it?
Well, maybe not. I can clearly think of several fairly normal 19-22 year olds who turned out pretty good despite the crazy, abnormal even abusive life they led. They did not have a relationship with Jesus until they were much older, 14-16. Not the norm. Most people accept Christ as kids under age 10. After that, the odds are against it. These kids are phenomenal. They are dependable, flexible, and excited! I use them as counselors and everything else intern types. My job is more complete with them. So why do I use kids, mere high schoolers, who have only known Jesus for a few years? I use them because its genuine, real Faith. They aren't screwed up or unmotivated disciples for Christ. They are the opposite.
So what happened to my kids who have been raised in the church? Where are they? Why don't they step up to help out? I am dismayed at the level of laziness.
Maybe, just maybe we approach it all wrong. Do we throw dice at odds hoping for the abnormal? Or do we plan like mad and hope for the best? A very precarious balance. One toe over, just a smidge could result in lackadaisical faith or irreverent atheism. Or maybe it defines who they will be. Maybe it is not us. Overthinking it? Undervaluing it?
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