My life is crazy busy. Not just a little bit, either! I feel so pulled in many directions. I used to be home. Part of me regrets the decision ever to go back to school. Am I cheating my kids? Are they going to fall prey to the horrible neglect of the public school system? Will they be failures? What will happen if..if...if....
I didn't really have a choice. It was chosen for me. Some days, when I feel so busy I can't even breathe, I want my old life back. I want to wake up and make a real breakfast and actually listen to what my kids have coming out of their mouths. Then start on doing laundry or the myriad of other chores that seem to be piling up endlessly. Open up the books and teach my kids, introducing them to new and fascinating ideas. I'm blessed, I truly am. I know that. Just remind me, please. When I feel like I am cheating my family or cutting short a possible deep conversation with my teenager because I have homework to do. When I am sick and tired of doing the long drive into town to listen to a professor spout off inconsistencies left and right. When I miss my youngest's first game because I have another responsibility. I never missed that stuff with my other kids. I was always there. They knew where I was at all times. There was never a guess to where I could be. If there was a scraped knee or hurt feelings, I was there. No running to someone else or fixing it themselves. Just remind me....
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